dinsdag 29 september 2015

Family adventures

She stood before my lens since she was a little ball of curls (I'm grinning like crazy because I'm quite imaginative and I can see it clearly in my head). She grew to play with it and allowed the adventures that come along. 
My niece now is one of my muses and I love her to death. She grew up to be a beautiful, wise young woman and I am very proud of her. So I'll always be delighted to share work with her in it. 










Model: Sarah De Voogt

woensdag 16 september 2015

Little fun things about me!

This blog is very personal to me and many blogpost will contain serious feelings, work and experiences. But how would you really get to know me If I only was so serious? In fact, I am a big child who's in love with laughter and joy. So I made a list of questions to myself just so I can show a little of who I am. Ah, I'm so in the mood for this!

name                                                              Tineke De Waele
age                                                                 23
birthday                                                      June first 1992
country                                                         little Belgium
pets                                                               two cats, two bunnies, three ducks, seven chickens and a                                                                                                                            lot of fluffy spiders in my home.
something that makes me sad                 Losing Wulle, my bunny. I loved that ball of fluff so much...
something that makes me happy             candles, chocolate, hugs, bunnies, art and my love
life goal                                                     becoming an old and wise woman who tells magical tales and who is an inspiration to others
weakness                                                       white chocolate with pralinĂ© in it. And cuddles. And not being able to keep my room mess-                                                                           free
photography inspiration                          Nirrimi Joy Firebrace. This girl is magical and my all time greatest inspiration. Not only in                                                                           photography, but also in life.
mood right now                                            autumny! Time for woolen socks, sweaters, fireplaces, hot chocolate, candles, storytelling                                                                         and journal writing
something I am looking forward to      having children. Breastfeed them as I fondle them to sleep, carrying them in a tula, taking                                                                           care of them, loving them and being their mama.
a place I want to visit                         England! If I'd had to move out of the country I would probably even live there. And Ireland.
something I've always wanted to do but never did making videos and even having a youtube channel. I envy those who are                                                                             brave enough. I would talk about photography, make tutorials and talk about life!                                                                                       Someday, maybe...
tattoos                                                          not right now, but I am planning on getting one
piercings                                                      a little ring in my nose. I got if from T, my love, and I love it!
something I can't live without            my camera, my journal, children and art
my first memory                                          I don't know if it's my first, but I was sitting in a public pool. I was little, very little and I                                                                             was waiting for my dad to come get me. Fun fact: I was sitting under water. A boy pushed                                                                           me down a slide and I fell into the water. I remember peacefully watching the surface, not                                                                         panicking at all. Then I felt my fathers hands picking me up. It took him a while because he                                                                         was going on the big slide to help me come off since I was scared to.
how would I describe myself                  intorvert in some ways, playful, trying to see beauty everywhere (ah, another life goal),                                                                             chocolate loving
random fact                                                  I used to be a potterhead, and I still am, only with less intensity






maandag 7 september 2015

Feelings

Brother rain has been my very best friend the past couple of days. I found comfort in his cold, raw drops.
I've been trying to find myself this week but I'm only bumping, turning and feeling lost.
And although T (my love) has been there for me the whole time, I still felt lonely, especially this weekend, when we and our friends went to the Celtic Night festival (for those who live in Belgium: it's a cosy little celtic festival with lots of fire, music, dancing and cuddling, I absolutely love it there).

T went ahead and left to go to the festival but I stayed home because I had a chaotic day at work and I needed some time for myself and my thoughts. I would join him the day after.
With heavy eyes I curled up in my bed, longing for still unknown dreams to come and heavenly clear up my mind, the way only dreams do. But my dreams didn't come. Instead my soul felt heavy and the to do list in my head kept knocking on my head, demanding every fraction of my attention. Saying people wouldn't like me if I didn't do this, and I would disappoint if I didn't act like that. I felt the need to write but couldn't bare to get up. At those moments, I miss Wulle. My soul animal, as I call him. He was my bunny, but I had a very special connection with him. He would only be with me and I would be the only one to read him perfectly. People can have that with dogs, but I had it with him. He died a year ago and it still feels as if a little piece of me still is somewhere out there.
So I turned my body to my nightstand where his medallion was, and kissed it tenderly, keeping it close and feeling the fur that I kept inside.
My dreams finally came and I gratefully let my eyelids find their way down, opening the door to my own world out there.

The day after I felt a bit better, but still confused. Why did I feel so lost and lonely? I have everything to be happy and I am thankful, every single day, that I am happy. I am happy, so why?
Me and my parents joined T at the festival and I texted him beforehand saying I didn't feel so well. He ran up to me and closed me deep into his o so familiar arms saying he loved me, like he always does so lovingly, and that he will always be there. I needed the feeling of his chest against my cheek and it helped.

The group that me and T joined were partly friends of mine, but also people I didn't know.
I learned through the years to connect with people and although I would describe myself as quite introvert I found a way to overcome fear of meeting new people. But today I wasn't up for it. I wanted to stay in my cocoon just a little longer. When people didn't make an effort to reach to me either I held onto J, one of my best friends who happens to be my colleague at work (I work in a daycare centre for children, god, I love those little monkeys).
J has the magical power to always make me smile. I love that girl so much and she is a wonderful mama of two boys.
As the day passed I had fun and the dark feeling slowly made room for smiles and enjoyment again. I held onto them tightly and even though they made me feel better I also felt small. I still didn't feel as if I was part of the group and people were sending me nonverbal messages, and they were hurtful. More hurtful then they would say it right to my face. Nothing was ever said, but I felt them sting, I felt them all. There were people who I knew received stings as well, and I wanted to protect them, knowing that I couldn't.
I had it in mind the whole time when we were sitting by the fireplace at the campsite. There was laughter, people were eating and telling tales while I was playing with my medallion, silently wanting to disappear to my tent where I could write in my journal. I didn't sleep very well that night either.

The feeling of wind and the sound of drops on our tent woke me up, introducing the next daylight. T was sleeping next to me and I watched him for a while, silently smiling, glancing at his beautiful face.
I wanted to write in my journal again.
"his words are big, but the heart that he protects for many, is the biggest of them all." 
We woke up together and ate breakfast on bed, well, our mat. He made me giggle with things only he can say so well and we started the day before anyone else did. We went to see my parents and took a second breakfast (I love festivals for that). We took it easy and it did me well. I felt better and had more energy.
That day I opened myself up more to the group an I felt accepted. I made new friends and took photographs. I wanted to hug everyone again and even wanted to sing and dance.

Today I started the day off with a chaotic cry. But there was J, who saw me arrive at work, holding up her hands to hug me. The team there is magnificent. They have a little place in my heart.
And now I am sitting here, in my room, behind my laptop, writing to you who is reading this.
It's dark outside and while the old drops from the last rain are drying up on my window, I light my candles and play with my chinchilla's who keep me company while T is out working.
I feel my peace slowly returning after I put on my thick cosy sweater and when I hug my father. Little things. I love little things.
I am waiting for winter and it makes me so happy looking forward to that. Should I get my legwarmers out already?
I feel better now.










woensdag 2 september 2015

The day we went outside

and played with the rain. 
Here is some work I did a few weeks ago. Oh, it makes me looking forward to winter so much! 
Woolen socks and sweaters, hot chocolate and cuddling by the fireplace. I can't wait. 









Model: Elisa Raman